Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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