he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize