I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
