Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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