He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
only you would photoshop your dick
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
