help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
