before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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