no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
