just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
