you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
