David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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