her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What drink are we having for lunch?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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