a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
