I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
