how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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