The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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