i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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