I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
