youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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