So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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