Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
they're like a gay fantastic four
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
