By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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