Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
