But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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