I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
