Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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