is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.