My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
