Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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