I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
