if you like me you must not know who I am
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
