Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
