i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
