He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
