Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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