yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just had sex bonerless
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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