Me too!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
