i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think people are normalizing furries
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize