Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize