Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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