i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
