My liver just broke up with me...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
