How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
