i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love having hate sex.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
