i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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