do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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