He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
