If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
