Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
