That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
