Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
