If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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