Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize