I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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