Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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