Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
...so i touched it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I want a musical about memes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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