Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize