I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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