I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize