Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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