i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
