she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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